Written in RED

Imma just say it…

I want me a man -oop.

*Feminists everywhere start screaming and throwing up*

lol I’m kidding, I know this isn’t a profound statement by any means. A lot of the girlies are taking to social media to talk about their desire for romantic love.

With the ongoing discourse about trad wives, the murky and getting murkier dating pool, pick me’s, popping and flopping dating apps, the sprinkle sprinkle lady, stay at home girlfriends, running clubs being the new singles hangout, Love Island, 50/50 households, the debate about whether love is actually blind, women proposing to men, who should pay on the first date, Ciarás prayer – the list goesss onnn – it seems like relationships (and not particularly healthy ones), are all everyone is talking about.

So, it’s no surprise that with all this innanet chat about relationships, I catch myself fantasising about my own meet cute and when and where but most importantly WHEN I’ll stumble upon my own Prince Charming.

Being a more traditional woman *feminists begin to set fire to the town*, in this fantasy meet cute of mine, the man is doing the initiating and so I can take solace in the fact that a large part of this is out of my control. In the magical world of my imagination, I need only exist as the most healed, whole and feminine version of myself and the man who is right for me will see me effortlessly floating through life and come get me. Or that’s at least that’s what we’re told…right?

• “He’ll come along when you least expect it”
• “When you stop looking, that’s when it will happen”
• “Maybe deep down you don’t think you’re deserving of love”
• “Focus on your career/education/insert any other aspect of life”
• Relationships are a lot of work – just enjoy being single!”

All utter bullsh*t if you ask me lol. Let’s take the same advice and apply it to a starving person and see if it has the same sparkly effect others seem to think it does:

• Food will come when you least expect it
• When you stop looking for food, that’s when you’ll get fed
• Maybe deep down you don’t think you deserve to eat
• Focus on your career and you’ll find food when you least expect it
• Eating is a lot of work – ENJOY BEING HUNGRY!

Okay so I’m being dramatic but you get the idea. The concept of ignoring how you feel or pretending you don’t want something you truly desire is never suggested in any other scenario. We’re told to be hustlers and go-getters for the things we want. Apart from when what we want is a relationship.

Personally, I don’t think there is a substitute for romantic love. Now don’t get me wrong. I am a huuuuge believer in self love and think it is the most important type because if you don’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else (can I get an amen up in here). And as someone who values community, love through friends and family is so selfless and so important. But the lovey dovey stuff, the best friend and lover combo pack, the falling head over heels in love, the choosing someone for life and every single day in-between, I don’t think there’s any substitute for that and because it’s so special and so unique it’s okay to admit that the fact you haven’t found it, but really hope you do, is completely okay and normal!

So here I am, admitting that I want to find love, or better yet, I want love to find me. I want it to wrap its arms around me and never let go. I want to suffocate in love so deep and never come up for air. I want this love to be a safe space, honest and mutual, heavy on the mutual. A love so thick and potent that it spreads to anyone that comes close enough to see it. I want it to grow as we grow, I want a love that’s powerful and strong, yet soft and adaptable. A love that is perfectly balanced between new and exciting yet still comfortable and reliable. I want a love that wants me.

But 

I want that with the right person. 

The person God has for me. 

And until then, I am more than happy to enjoy life until that man comes to get me.

So even though I want this, here are my top 10 reasons I’m thankful, I’m single right now:

• I am my own baby girl and I have been setting a very high standard for the way I like to be treated.
• I can get up and go whenever I like and your girl has been hop, skipping and jumping out of the UK lately without a thought or care in the world.
• All my money is for meee – nuff said.
• I’m still getting to know myself in every way and it’s been so much fun exploring new things I enjoy (and don’t).
• Flirting is fun and I can do it with whoever I want.
• I’m learning to be at peace with just me.
• I am the main character in my story, the star of the show, the only person I have to consider.
• Everything can be romantic because I decide that it is.
• I get to still anticipate when and how I will meet Him which is exciting because the story has yet to be written.
• I get to experience love through God first and it’s truly beautiful.

– RED